There are just some days where I seriously wish that I had never met you. I wish that I would have never fallen in love with you so that I would have never had to experience the pain that our relationship has brought me. I wish it were that easy for me to move on after breaking up.
You wanna know why I regret ever meeting you? It’s because of what you think about me now. I thought we were getting along just great…dating, having fun, holding hands and all the cute little things. I thought you loved me, you even said so yourself ever so often after staring so deeply into my eyes. But there’s a HUGE difference between the way you talk to certain people and me. You tell me that you wouldn’t talk to other girls and sympathize with me when I say it’s hard to move on after what we’ve been though. Yet when you talk to your bros or whatever, you’re a completely different person. You talk about hollering & meeting other girls or how fucking retarded I am and how you would never date me again. Seriously, that is completely unacceptable and rude.
You led me on. You made me think that I was that special girl, calling me your girlfriend to other people when we both knew we weren’t even in an official relationship or taking me to nice fancy dates even though you don’t like going out much. I went along with it because I thought it was cute and it made me feel like the happiest girl in the world, but now that I officially know that you want to move on, I’m not going to try and stop you anymore or make you feel guilty by manipulating situations. I’ll admit, it was one of many mistakes I’ve had throughout our relationship. So as of right now, I am officially stepping out of your life so that you can have the freedom to find that someone who is better suitable for you or just to enjoy your life.
At this point, I only wish the best for you. Deep down, I will always love you and you MEAN SO MUCH TO ME despite those stupid road bumps we had. Yeah there are days where I wish I had never met you but then again, I don’t regret what we once had, those days where we were happy & inseparable. Those are definitely the memories that I will cherish forever. I learned a lot from just being with you. Will I miss you? More than you can imagine. But I don’t want to be that anchor that’s constantly holding you down from pursuing other things & leaving.
So for one last time, I just wanted to say, I LOVE YOU. I wish you the very best and I’ll see you when I see you. <3
Sorry Tumblr, if you think I’m crazy.
It’s just one of those days..where I just absolutely HAD to let it all out.
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So your profile wouldnt let me reblog, but this is just my response to it.
I am really a bad person. And I say that with the deepest regret I’ve ever felt. Courtney, I’ve never once played you or manipulated you into feeling like you were some backup. When I talked about marrying you, I meant it. I honestly saw me and you and our four kids together. You can say that I move on fast, but the real reason why I do that is because I want to be happy. I know that if I dwell on all the bad things we went through, I’d never be happy.
You might say that you never wanted to meet me or that you regret meeting me for whatever reason, but I’m glad that I met you. You changed me into a great person. I used to not care about girls and their feelings. But with you, I made sure that I was extra careful. I gave you ten of the best months I have ever had. And even now, I do not regret it.
Admittedly, I do have a couple of faces. Yes, I have a “Bro-Face.” And when I’m with my friends, of course I’m going to speak differently. And of course, when I’m with you, I’m going to act more tamed. It’s only logical. I’ve got a ton more, too.
I loved you with every ounce of my heart. I told you as I looked into your hazel brown eyes. I held your hand extra tight. I did everything to try and show you that I loved you. And yes, that meant doing the things I hated doing; because I knew that it was what you really wanted. And at the end of the day, all I wanted was to see you smile and to see you happy.
I did talk bad about you at certain points in our off time. I said things like “She’s going nuts” and “She treats me like crap.” And yea, I still do mean them to a certain degree. But not to the point where I could ever hate you. I’m sorry for everything I’ve ever said. It was not gentlemen like and I should have been more mature and manly about how I handled the situation.
I didn’t lead you on. I loved you. I cared for you. On a level you could never comprehend. I put you on this pedestal, and made sure that you were happy. There were so many times where I just couldn’t do it, but I tried.
Courtney, I love you so much. And all I want is for us to be okay. Okay means friends. And it might take some time for you to warm up to it, but I really hope you’ll come around. I’m only doing this on tumblr because you havent given me a chance to talk to you in any other way.
I messed up. I dropped the ball. I killed it. Whatever you want to say, yea I did it. And Court, I hope that you know exactly how much I care. I wish you the best. I wish for you to meet the hottest guy who can give and provide for you whatever you want. You’ll always be that girl I loved, that girl I went to Hawaii with, that girl I wanted but couldn’t have, that girl who made me Brandon.
If I missed anything, I’m sorry.
via supermegamorpherdelux
